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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26713429">Higher Ground</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelztoddbrooke/pseuds/chelztoddbrooke'>chelztoddbrooke</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Signed Sealed Delivered (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, F/M, Hurt, Letters, Romance, post higher ground</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:15:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,572</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26713429</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelztoddbrooke/pseuds/chelztoddbrooke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A Post Movie scene from Higher Ground. The story of what happened with the rest of Oliver and Shane's evening.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Shane McInerney/Oliver O'Toole</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Higher Ground</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Another repost from FF.net. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The familiar ache filled Oliver’s chest as he noticed the bizarre contraption that was Shane’s desk had been returned to its rightful place. His eyes danced around the room trying to find some clue as how it got there.  When he noticed her bag and coat, a spark of connection fizzled up his spine, something that had been so noticeably absent since he’d left her on her porch months earlier. Shane had returned.</p>
<p>There was a strange play of emotions across her face as she turned to look at him. A soft smile followed by something heavier. He swallowed hard, not sure what to say. Luckily, she spoke first.</p>
<p>“One part kombucha, two tablespoons bee pollen, one half teaspoon fresh chopped ginger.” She flipped the card in her hand, reading off another of his failed attempts at the perfect kombucha smoothie. “Two parts kombucha, one part ginger…ale, one ounce raw honeycomb. Ginger ale?”</p>
<p>Oliver set down his yoo-hoo on the trunk behind him and nervously wrung his hands together. “It, uh, added a certain effervescence that balanced out the subtle earthy tones of the honeycomb. Still experimenting but getting closer I think.”</p>
<p>Shane wasn’t sure how she’d feel once she got back to Denver. In a distant fantasy she imagined reuniting with Oliver would be a romantic affair with flowers and kisses, but after their encounter in DC she figured that was highly unlikely. His visit unsettled her. She was somewhere between being irritated with him for the accusations he made about Steve, worried he had given up hope that she was ever coming back, and frustrated that he wouldn’t plainly tell her how he felt.</p>
<p>However, looking at him now in his neatly pressed suit that made the pale blue of his eyes pop even in the dimly lit room and hearing him explain his completely logical reasoning as to why he considered the use of ginger ale, all she could feel was how much she truly missed him while she was away. She couldn’t fight the small amused smile that touched her lips as she stood from his desk.</p>
<p>“How are my roses?” she asked flippantly, unwilling to give into the soft feeling.</p>
<p>“I had to cut them back. You do that if you want them to bloom to their full potential,” he tone was nearly as sharp as hers. He used the opportunity to once again explain why he’d just let her go.</p>
<p>Tension hung thick between them as they shifted around each other, each squaring off for the inevitable confrontation. They volleyed back and forth for a moment. Shane asking half questions and Oliver giving half answers. It was getting them nowhere. For the abundance of words they had exchanged since he walked in the door, nothing had really been said. Nothing had been resolved.</p>
<p> “And tell me again why you moved my desk.” Shane pressed, hoping this time she would get an actual answer.</p>
<p>“It was hard to look at every day,” he admitted.</p>
<p>Again, he almost said it. Almost. Usually Shane found the way he talked around what he actually wanted to say endearing but at the moment it was nothing short of irritating.</p>
<p>“So you mean you missed me.” she corrected.</p>
<p>Oliver was losing his patience. Shane clearly understood what he was trying to say, so he wasn’t sure why she was acting as if she didn’t.  He sensed she was upset with him, but if he was honest with himself, he wasn’t exactly happy with her either. He didn’t fault her for leaving, but her reluctance to return and her adamant defense of Steve gave him pause.</p>
<p>“I mean what I say when I say it. Although I don’t always say what I mean, when I do say it, I mean it. For example, when I once said that I hoped our first date wouldn’t be our last that was a true and transparent statement that if we’d ever actually completed a first date would have been borne out in action assuming you were in agreement which, given your extended absence you might understand my assumption that your intentions and mine were not in concert.”</p>
<p>Shane was surprised by Oliver’s outburst. Apart from a few instances involving Holly, Oliver had never been quick to anger. The way he bit out the last statement felt like a punch to the stomach. However, he was wrong. While she was gone, her only goal had been to get back to Oliver. She never really wanted to leave but joining was the task force was the right thing to do and a certain singing postal detective philosopher guy who believes in spring taught her to always do the right thing. His insistence that she felt otherwise needed to be corrected.</p>
<p> “If you are suggesting that I didn’t miss you and I might be the only person on earth who understands what you just said…” She stormed past him again.</p>
<p>Oliver took a deep breath as the heavy blow of Shane’s barb solidly landed. She was still misconstruing his words. He prepared to wield another argument, but she cut him off. His eyes flicked to the envelope in her hand.</p>
<p>“I wrote this on the plane <em>with your pen</em> and talked about kissing you on the steps and the second one I wrote <em>with your pen</em> after we landed and told you I wish I’d never left. And the third one, the third one is about how afraid I am that I can’t do what they need me to do, and the fourth one is about how I’m afraid I’m gonna die before I can see you and the fifth one is about deciding to survive it all so that I can come back to this crazy stupid place and now you’ve moved my desk…”</p>
<p>He’d been battling heartbreak for months now, but it was nothing compared to this. Watching Shane fall apart before his eyes was in turn undoing him. Her hurt and anger sliced into his heart. He was desperate to stop it, to stop her pain. He wanted to tell her than he did miss her, more than he thought possible and that he believed she missed him that much as well. He needed her to know that as much as he didn’t want to let her go he couldn’t ask her to stay. But for a man who loved words, he was failing to find the right ones. But as these things sometimes work, the words of another found him. Words from his father.</p>
<p>
  <em>If you get another chance to kiss her, son…</em>
</p>
<p>His hand caught her wrist, spinning her into a close hold as his lips found hers. For the first time in three months he felt whole. This was nothing like their first kiss. That night on the stairs he’d given her a chaste kiss, nothing more than a confirmation of his intentions. This was something entirely different. A volatile combination of hurt and anxiety, longing and reassurance.</p>
<p>Shane went pliant in Oliver’s arms, surrendering to him. The letters in her hands fluttered to the ground around them.  As they broke apart, she looked up into his eyes. Everything she so desperately wanted to hear was written all over his face. She had to smile at the irony of the wordsmith communicating better without words.</p>
<p>“I thought of you every day. I know that might be hard for you to believe, but…”</p>
<p>Oliver was surprised by how unnecessary he found her reassurance to be. Despite the fact that he’d been left more than his fair share by those he cared for the most, he never truly doubted Shane. Though his anxiety grew as the months ticked by, he believed her when she said she would be back.  He may have wavered towards the end, but true to Norman’s advice, he didn’t lose hope.</p>
<p>“You’d be surprised.” He dug into his pocket for a little piece of that hope, the one he kept tucked against his heart since the day she left. The awe on her face as she unfolded the tattered napkin was worth almost as much to him as the napkin itself.</p>
<p>Shane’s eyes danced across the familiar doodles. It was so like Oliver to be sentimental about a cocktail napkin.</p>
<p>Their eyes met for a brief moment, full of warmth and affection. The hurt of the past few months faded away and two anxious hearts finally at rest. They could move forward.</p>
<p>Oliver quickly got her up to date regarding Rita and Norman’s engagement and his father’s ill-fated romance.</p>
<p> “So, what do we do now?” she asked. Now that they were moving forward again, she wasn’t sure what their next step was. Everything was still so new.</p>
<p>“I am going to make you the perfect ‘kumbahcha’…” Oliver paused, knowing that wasn’t correct. He never got that right on the first try.</p>
<p>“Kom-bu-cha” A smile flicked between them as they said it at the same time.</p>
<p>“—smoothie and, and you are going to read me all of your letters.” He handed her the stack of envelopes in his hand and helped her to her feet.</p>
<p>“That could take all night,” she smirked.</p>
<p>He stepped away from her for a moment, grabbing one of his prized letter openers and offering it to her. “Good.”</p>
<p>Shane hopped up on one of the work tables and made herself comfortable as she sliced open the first letter and prepared to read it. Another thought struck her. “So you think you’ve found the perfect kombucha smoothie recipe, huh?” she teased.</p>
<p>“Oh well, it’s uh, it’s about the secret ingredient,” His grin was so wide and full of mirth as he poured the yoo-hoo into the blender, she couldn’t help but laugh.</p>
<p>“Dear Oliver, when we lifted off and flew into the clouds, I realized that you have made a believer out of me. It was no mistake that I was transferred to the dead letter office instead of direct line operations. We could not have begun dancing together so long ago without learning the steps we needed to find our way back to each other… so please keep the music playing, I will be back for another dance before you know it.”</p>
<p>Oliver listened intently as he gathered the ingredients for his perfect smoothie. He hadn’t quite mastered the ginger honeycomb recipe yet, but his ginger chocolate was nearing perfection. He held a hand up to stop her so he could run the blender. A few moments later, she started again.</p>
<p>“Despite the fact that I am currently on an airplane destined for a far flung unknown location for an undetermined length of time, I no longer feel God and the universe are conspiring against us. They are perhaps testing us, but I believe what is developing between us to be true and strong enough to carry us through this unexpected obstacle. I think of the kiss we shared on the steps, that first beautiful kiss,  as a promise of things to come and I cannot wait to return and see how we grow from there. Rest assured I hold my thoughts of you closer as every mile stretches out between us. Yours, Shane.”</p>
<p>Shane blinked up at him as she folded the letter and returned it to its envelope. He smiled softly as he offered her one of the smoothies. She took a slow sip, eyebrows knitting together in surprise.</p>
<p>“This is really good,” she remarked.</p>
<p>“It’s not ginger honeycomb, but one recipe at a time,” Oliver replied with a bashful smile. He took a moment to remove his suit jacket before hopping up on the table next to her. “On to the next letter?” he asked, picking up his own smoothie and taking a sip. Shane smiled and sliced open the second letter.</p>
<p>“Dear Oliver, after what seems like days of flying, my feet are back on solid ground. While I can’t tell you exactly where they have sent me, I can tell you it is the farthest from where I actually want to be. Home. With you and Norman and Rita and the DLO. As I boarded the plane, I felt I had to leave and needed to see this through, but upon landing I am less certain. To be honest, I wish I’d never left. I am not sure what good I will do is worth what I’ve left behind. It’s time for our initial briefing.  I’ll write more when I am settled. Maybe I will feel more optimistic then. Yours, Shane.” Following suit, she returned the second letter to its envelope as well. She didn’t hesitate before she pressed on to the next.</p>
<p>“Oliver, my earlier insecurities have only amplified since the initial briefing. I do not belong here.  I may have the basic skills to do this job, but I am definitely under qualified. And in this particular situation, failure is not an option. If I fail, people will die. That is not something I want to be responsible for. I know we have had a letter or two where a life has hung in the balance, but nothing of this scale. One miscalculation could affect entire villages. I know you said I am the best at what I do, but I am not sure that’s enough. I wish you were here to say it again. Shane.”</p>
<p>“Was it enough?” Oliver asked softly.</p>
<p>“Just barely,” Shane sighed. “We had a couple of close calls.” Oliver reached over to thread his fingers through hers. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Ready for another?”</p>
<p>“If you are,” he replied with a small nod.</p>
<p>“Dear Oliver, I am not exactly sure what time it is, but I know it’s late. I don’t think I have slept through the night once since my arrival. There are explosions and alarms all night it seems. Tonight they’re closer. I can smell the explosives. I can feel the walls of the building shake with every blast. My exhausted and anxious mind can’t help put play out the worst scenario. I wonder if this is how you felt lost on that mountain, unsure if morning will ever come and if it does what it will bring. I’m scared, Oliver…” Shane trailed off as she was overcome with emotion. Oliver took the letter and began reading.</p>
<p>“The thought of never seeing you again is almost more than I can fathom, but it feels like a grim reality as I am curled up in the corner waiting for it all to stop. Keep me in your prayers tonight, Oliver. Yours, Shane.”</p>
<p>Oliver took a moment to process what he’d just read. His mind flashed back to the time they spent trapped in the bank vault. Her fear had been palpable that night. He could only imagine how much worst it had to be being in some war torn country with a group of virtual strangers with her life actually on the line. Suddenly he found himself overwhelmingly grateful. His eyes flicked up to meet hers. He had no idea how close he’d come to losing her.</p>
<p>“Shane, I…” he breathed, his hand coming up to rest on her cheek.</p>
<p>“You couldn’t have known,” she replied softly, reaching up to grab his hand and intertwining it with hers in her lap.</p>
<p>“Even so,” Oliver continued, covering their conjoined hands. “You are always in my prayers, Shane.”</p>
<p>Shane’s eyes filled with tears and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth in an attempt to reign in her emotions. “ I appreciate that,” she managed finally.  Oliver released her hand and careful stowed the previous letter and reached for the next one.</p>
<p>“May I?” he asked. She nodded, dropping her head to his shoulder. “Dear Oliver, I vowed that if morning came, I would somehow find the courage to carry on until I am safely home once again. Just as the thought of never seeing you again scared me, the thought of actually seeing you again gives me hope. So I am trying to tap into what little faith I have to get me through, but as someone very wise once told me, “it only takes a little”. Send Rita and Norman my regards. I miss them terribly and the little haven we’ve created at the DLO. I miss you too, Oliver. Yours, Shane.”</p>
<p> “Have you eaten?” Oliver asked as he slid the letter back into its envelope.</p>
<p>Shane righted herself and brushed her hair back behind her ears. “No, I came straight from the airport.”</p>
<p>The emotional fall out of the last half hour left him feeling suddenly drained. While he wanted to read every letter she wrote, he would need sustenance first. “Shall we get some food before we continue on?”   Shane nodded gently. Oliver hopped off the table and turned to help her down. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before donning his jacket and moving across the room to collect her coat. </p>
<p>After a quick meal at an all-night diner, they found their way back to the historic O’toole home for a comfortable and private place to finish with the letters. They read back and forth until Shane surrendered to her exhaustion and nodded off. Oliver worked his way through the rest of the stack himself. He carefully pulled the final letter from its envelope. He noted the date at the top. This one was written when she was back stateside, more specifically, the day he’d seen her in DC.</p>
<p>Dear Oliver,</p>
<p> I so wish our meeting today had gone better. The joy of seeing you again was so fleeting as I saw the amount of anxiety my absence had caused, for both of us. We’re caught in a tug of war between you letting me go and me leaving. Silence and distance have allowed our imaginations to fill in the blanks. Believe me when I say it always was and still is my intention to return to Denver and the DLO. I know this task force took longer than both of us would’ve liked, but it’s over now. I am coming back, Oliver. Don’t let past hurts push me away and I will try to do the same. </p>
<p>Still yours, Shane.</p>
<p>Oliver released a slow breath as he set the letter on the coffee table in front of him. He head swam with all of the information and emotions her letters had left him with. While it would take him awhile to wrap his head around it all, he knew he owed her a little reciprocity.</p>
<p>“Shane,” he murmured, turning to press a kiss to her hair. She made a soft noise and shifted against him, but didn’t wake. Oliver slid his hand into hers and shook it gently. “Shane.”</p>
<p>“Ol’ver…” she slurred, forcing herself back into an upright position.</p>
<p>Oliver smiled as her blue eyes blinked sleepily at him. His reciprocity could wait, she needed sleep.</p>
<p>“Let’s get you home,” he chuckled. Shane’s brow furrowed, still not awake enough to fully comprehend the situation. “The sun will be up soon.”</p>
<p>“Wait, we didn’t finish the letters,” she protested, tugging on his arm as he moved to stand.</p>
<p>“We didn’t, but I did,” he smirked. “Just finished the last one.”</p>
<p>“oh good…” Shane’s words were swallowed by a yawn.</p>
<p>“Come on, I’ll drive you home,” Oliver urged.</p>
<p>“Can we walk?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Sure, if that’s what you want,” he smiled indulgently.</p>
<p>They walked arm in arm in the crisp predawn, the moment reminiscent of their aborted first date. This time, to Oliver’s relief, there was no secret agent awaiting them on her porch. Shane’s eyes skirted around, taking in the familiar space. She was surprised by how comforting the sight of her porch swing and healthy rose bush were.</p>
<p>“Happy to be home?” Oliver’s voice pulled her from her musings.</p>
<p>Color dusted Shane’s cheeks as she met his eyes. “Very.” He took both of her hands.</p>
<p>“Well, I will let you enjoy it.  Goodnight, Shane.”</p>
<p>“Goodnight, Oliver,” she returned, pressing a kiss to his cheek. She turned to let herself into her house.</p>
<p>“Shane, wait,” Oliver stopped her, his mind back on her letter. She eyed him curiously. “Your last letter...I…didn’t want to let you go, but I couldn’t ask you to stay. I tried that once and it didn’t end well for me. I thought if I let you make your own decision it would protect this thing growing between us. I am sorry if you felt that meant I didn’t want you to stay.”</p>
<p>“I know that, Oliver, but I appreciate you saying it. I know I said it in my letter, but the plan was to always come back. It took me a while to fully settle into my life at the DLO, but it is my home now. I want to be here, with you. I’m not going anywhere,” she replied.</p>
<p>Oliver stepped back towards her and slid his arms around her waist. “Good,” he smiled, kissing her gently. “Now go get some rest and if you’re feeling up to it, I would like to take you to dinner tonight.”</p>
<p>“I would love that,” Shane grinned, giving him another quick kiss before finally letting herself back into the house.</p>
<p>Oliver stood on the porch for another moment longer, marveling at the sense of calm coursing through him. He said a quick prayer, grateful Shane was back, safe and sound.</p>
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